Wednesday 27 April 2011

I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU!

I'm the only woman in my regular Krav class.  It was a little awkward at first, but now it's mostly okay.  I asked the instructor not to nod at me whenever he said "and ladies", avoid vest-tops or v-necks, and wear a very good sports bra (pros, reduced bounce, cons, nipples clearly visible when cold).  I know they know I'm female, but I try to avoid sending off obvious 'chick' signals.  I don't want my gender to be at the forefront of someone's mind when he's on top of me, trying to choke me.

Generally, in class, we need to pair up, and I've now found five or six people I'm good with working with (the instructor I normally work with is quite protective about this, especially since one guy asked me if I was a porn star).  These guys, for the most part, aren't in my weight or height range, which can be a problem.  It means it's harder for them to practice the technique well, since I'm not really a viable attacker.  It's good for me though, especially since these guys aren't afraid of hurting me, or actually physically choking me until I do the technique properly.  This is a good thing, seriously - if they don't do it with real force, I won't know if I can actually defend myself until someone tries it for real, and they won't stop when I tap them.

I actually find other women harder to work with, but I think this is because, the twice I've trained with women, they've been brand new to the classes.  Like anyone new at it, they don't want to use real strength for fear of hurting their training partner.  That's something people get over quickly, once they realise that training half-assed does no one any favours.

I was kind of a jerk the other day.  I was practicing 360-Defence with a fairly new guy, and I pointed out that his guard was repeatedly being broken by a 120lb girl with pigtails.   Not the most polite way of putting it, really.  Bit mean of me.

I find people expect less of me, since I'm female.  Some people will go easy on me, or be astonished when they can't break my guard, or stab me during a certain drill.  The drill in question has one person holding a fake knife, and the other person holding their wrist, and locking their arms out.  The objective is to try to stab.  Last time we did that, I actually tripped over someone's foot, and fell.  I didn't get stabbed though - I kicked the guy I was working with in the groin guard instead, and got a cheer.

I've been thinking about this, because of a dream I had last night, about one of the people I work with regularly.  Nothing happened, but there was a ton of sexual tension, which just doesn't exist in real life.  I was dream-texting Anthony the whole time, like I love you baby!  I'm not doing anything!.  It'll be fun trying not to think of that next time I work with this guy.

Oh, the title for this entry comes from something else that happened in a class once.  We were practising knife attacks, and to make it seem more real, we had to say things as attackers and defenders.  Like "give me your money," or, "hey, back off man, I don't want any trouble".  I suck at improv, so I stayed quiet, until the guy I was attacking started saying "hey, what do you want?".  To which I replied, at the top of my lungs, "I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU!", and everyone burst out laughing.  It was hilarious!

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