Sunday, 7 November 2010

Changes I Didn't Expect

I didn't really expect my thought processes to change.  I thought they'd stay exactly the same, and I'd just, eventually, stop craving the things I don't eat any more.  I thought watching cooking programs would be frustrating, since they contained so many dishes I couldn't make.  I didn't expect them to be interesting and then, swiftly, repulsive.

Eating meat has become something that looks strange to me.  I feel like the cow in the picture, going "you eat what?!".  The entire process seems inhuman, in a more immediate way than it did before, and more horrific.

At the same time, I could really go for a sausage mcmuffin.

I flip between the two viewpoints rapidly, cycling through being, mentally, vegan, to being, again, mentally, omnivorous (and hungry).

Being vegan has started to become difficult.  I'm now vegan every day except Monday and Thursday. Since I fell off the wagon last Tuesday, I spent Thursday as a vegan instead, so last week was my longest unbroken stint of veganism. Five days.  It started to hurt.

I'd hoped that by doing it this way, I'd have an easier time of it, and the desire for animal products would slowly abate.  It turns out that it doesn't work that way.

Today, I slept in, and skipped breakfast.  I ate three bananas and a tangerine, then, on my break, two hash browns, a quarter of a lettuce, tomato, and cucumber sandwich, and some onion rings.  When I got home I made myself a shicken (my nickname for chicken-flavoured seitan) sandwich with lettuce,  and had some ready salted crisps, and chocolate cake (Chloe Coscarelli's recipe again).  Not terribly healthy. Far too carby, lacking in calcium.  Probably a bit low on protein, too.  And not nearly enough food, but, tbh, I'm far more sleepy than I am hungry (hence the rambliness of this post).

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