Kiss Me With Tongues Chocolate Roulade

Seductive, dark, crunchy, biscuity, decadent chocolate crust...the soft bite of moist chocolate cake...the surprisingly smooth sweetness of peanut butter icing, creamy and cool over your tongue...and finally, the tangy sweetness of a glacé cherry, my little secret hidden just under the surface. You know you shouldn't, but I know you want to. You know it's wrong...but I know you can't resist.

I dare you...to not like this cake.

Let's get it on.

Just close your eyes and taste it.  How can you resist?

Desire was too strong
to put up a fight.

When Chelle posted up this month's challenge for We Should Cocoa, it sent my creativity into overdrive.  I wanted to do something unusual.  A sheet of vanilla nougat, with fudgey chocolate icing, dotted with walnuts?  A sheet of chocolate and cherry ice cream, carefully rolled up with a soft vanilla centre, covered with a crisp chocolate shell?  Something with Turkish Delight?  Hazelnuts?  Some kind of flapjack with chocolate chips, rolled up around a cherry compote?

In the end, I went with an idea that I was fairly confident about, though it would stretch me.  I've never attempted a roulade before, and I had no idea how to even begin to roll it up.  But, I was determined to use a bourbon biscuit shell, since it makes such a lovely pie crust, and I knew that that would cover any mistakes.  I didn't entertain any hope whatsoever of the cake not cracking!

I had a look at this video for the rolling part, with my actual technique written below, at the appropriate point.  For the cake, I started with this one, which I haven't made before, changed the quantities, and took all the raising ingredients out, so it would stay flat.

Grab ahold of my body and mind.
Soon we'll be making it, honey.

It came out even better than I'd hoped.  All the flavours go together really well.  The peanut butter icing is smooth and creamy, the cherries are sweet and not over-powering, the cake is just the right amount of moist, and the chocolate shell is fudgey, and crisp, and absolutely delicious.

Make the cake first.

Ingredients for Cake

1. 1/3 Cup of Plain Flour (that is, All Purpose)
2. 1/2 Cup Demerara Sugar
3. 3 Tablespoons Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
4. 1/4 Teaspoon Salt
5. 1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
6. 3 Tablespoons Sunflower Oil (or any vegetable oil)
7. 1/4 Cup Non-Dairy Milk (I used Soya)
8. 1/4 Cup Water

1. Preheat the oven to Gas Mark 5/190 Celsius/375 Fahrenheit.
2. Mix together all the dry ingredients.  Mix together all the wet ingredients.  Pour one into the other, and whisk till smooth.
3. Pour mixture into a rectangular tin, either non-stick, or lined with greaseproof paper.  Mine was around 9 inches by 7.  Bake for 30 minutes.

...and you took my picture
in all sorts of poses...

Once the cake is done, gently ease it out of the cake tin, and place it onto a sheet of greaseproof paper or tin foil.  Score a line across the cake, about an inch from the edge where you plan to start rolling.  Cover with another layer of tin foil or greaseproof paper, and gently roll the cake up between them.

Leave the cake, still rolled, to cool for forty-five minutes to an hour, then unroll it and remove the top sheet.  It will probably still feel slightly warm after this time, and that's fine.

Now make the peanut butter icing.

Ingredients for Icing

• 1/4 Cup of Peanut Butter (any kind, chunky or smooth).
• 2 Tablespoons Icing Sugar (Confectioner's Sugar?)
• 1/4 Cup Glacé Cherries (about 12)

...but I want it too much.

1. Mix the peanut butter with the icing sugar.  Be firm with it!  If you have trouble, try adding in some drops of non-dairy milk.  It should be quite a firm consistency.
2. Carefully spread the icing onto the cake.  Don't go all the way to the edges - leave a gap of an inch or so.
3. Chop the cherries into small pieces, and scatter over the cake.
4. Carefully roll the cake up, using the sheet of tinfoil/greaseproof paper for leverage.  It will probably crack.  That's fine, you're about to cover it up anyway.  Remove the tin foil, and put it on a plate.

- I-I wasn't sober...
and you told me you loved me over and over...

Now for the coating.  I measured how many biscuits it took to cover the top of the cake, then just guessed and experimented for the margerine.  If you're using Oreos, you may want to experiment yourself with how many you need, and how much margarine to use.  Sadly, no kind of Oreo sold in the UK is vegan, to my knowledge.

Ingredients for Coating

Freak me, baby.

• 9 Bourbon Biscuits
• 1/4 Cup Vegan Margarine (I used Vitalite - I hear Earth Balance is good in the US)

1. Crush the biscuits.  I used a potato masher.
2. Melt the margarine, and mix with the biscuit crumbs.

You should have a chocolatey biscuit mush.   Use a spoon to carefully spread this over your cake.  Use the back of the spoon to smooth it over.  Then put it in the fridge over night.  Don't touch.  It's good warm, but it's so much better when it's cool, and firm, and crunchy, and mmmmmmm.


There may be a small prize for anyone who gets all the references in my picture captions.  It will probably be ten points of Krav Vegan everlasting love, which are not redeemable anywhere for anything.  And you'll get the fun of the challenge!

...it's like making love with you all night.
No, wait, it feels so much better, hello, much better,
it's oh, oh! oh! ohOH! - much better!