Friday, 13 May 2011

Why Blowjobs Are Vegan

Alternative title;  You Want Me To Swallow What?

Short version; I don't eat animal products because I don't believe I have the right to take those things without permission, which other creatures are unable to give. Regarding blowjobs though, human beings are perfectly able to give consent, and most are quite enthusiastic about receiving oral sex.

Incidentally vegetarians are move giving than omnivores in this respect - perhaps we need the protein (I'm kidding, of course; a vegetarian or vegan diet offers ample protein, and semen is pretty much just sugar anyway).  Anyway, my point is, if someone is that happy about you taking it, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's morally okay to consume it (or not, y'know, it's a personal thing).

Someone did once ask me "so if I jizz on a plate of food, it's vegan?".  Well, yes, if it was vegan already, but that doesn't mean I'm going to eat it, Mr Immature&Disgusting.

Likewise, breastfeeding. It's perfectly okay, by every vegan I've ever known, for babies to consume breastmilk. That's what it's for. Adults consuming breastmilk is a bit weird (though, when you really think about it, not as weird as consuming milk from another species), but when people go to this much effort to advertise it and sell it, and they're in their right mind, I'm going to, again, go ahead and say it's morally fine by me to consume it.

...interesting texture.


One thing from the human body that I'm not okay with is paint made from mummy's bandages, which, happily, is really not much of a concern anymore.  You put that body back in its grave, mister, those aren't your bandages.

I guess, logically, this means I have issues with the display of human remains, and their removal from their initial burial grounds.  Mentally, though, I do feel that this is less of an imposition than things done to members of other species, when we do it to our own.  For some reason, this just doesn't bother me as much, if the body is treated with a modicum of respect, and not, as above, torn up for bandages or burned as fuel.  Logically, by my feelings on veganism, it is immoral, but I'm not going to go out and protest it.  It's lower on my list of priorities.

I'm an atheist, I should point out here.  My preferred afterlife is reincarnation, but I appreciate that this isn't really something I can count on.  Nonetheless, I think of the human body after death as being like a set of abandoned clothes, rather than something vitally essential for the afterlife.  But, that said, they're still not your clothes, mister.  The dead can't give permission any more than other animals can.

Of course, that's not a practical viewpoint.  As I said, I hold no special veneration from the body after death, apart from feeling that it should be treated respectfully.  And we have to do something with them, even if the deceased didn't specify burial or cremation, we can't just leave them lying about, making the place unhygienic.

Moving on, since I'm getting myself all confused.

Would be more, but I slept with a bisexual man, which makes me ineligible to donate for a year.
Yeah, I think that's an overreaction too.


I'm a blood donor, and I'm on the Anthony Nolan register for bone marrow donation.  This was done perfectly willingly (though I am terrified of needles).  If you need either of those, go ahead and use them (unless you're B, O, or something negative.  Sorry!).  If I willingly give you a part of my body (that I grew all by myself, I'll have you know), I would hope you would simply be appreciative, and not argue with me about whether it's vegan or not.  Seriously.  That's why I wrote this, so I can just go *link* instead of repeating myself.  Take my blood!  Seriously!  It's okay!

But not you, Tall Dark & Glittery.  You get intense about it.

Human hair weaves, on the other hand, are debatable.  Watching Good Hair (if you have a Lovefilm account, you can watch it online for free), it does seem like most of the women who grew the hair receive no recompense for it, and have no idea where it's going.  Sure, they don't seem to care what happens to it, as the removal is the significant part, but it still seems like they should be given the choice of whether or not to sell it themselves, rather than have someone else steal it.  I guess, though, if they don't care, then it's more about theft (is it, to take something that's being thrown out?) than veganism.

One litre, ahahaha!  Two litres, ahahaha!


Anyway.  Bottom line is; always ask permission before taking something from someone else, whatever form they take.  Did we not all learn that from Sesame Street?

Oh, and, of course, picking your nose, biting your nails, eating your belly-button fluff...have a ball, you gross thing, you.  Just don't tell me about it.

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